March 22nd, 2002

aquatic, the life

"some day i will find a way; to make you notice me..."

"and when i do the clouds will clear...
and when i do, i'll hold you near.
when i do, the sun will shine;
'cos you'll be mine...
someday i will find a way to make you notice me."

in the past few days nothing eventful happened, except:

1) dan showed me how to silkscreen on wednesday, so basically i've got a new distraction. i just finished designing my third screen. the first ended up becoming just a test screen, since i just re-did that screen just now [screen 3]. i did, however, silk screen the spoiled design onto a pair of sweat pants. screen 2 is something i'm doing for my friend, owen and i haven't screened onto anything yet, since it's sopping wet. and screen 3 [remake of screen 1] is still drying as well. it's almost dry tho -->

2) my grandma [who i have not seen in ages + ages] arrived here on wednesday night from utah. today i pretty much had to baby sit her while my mom ran errands [plus side of not having a job atm]. her alzheimer's has become much worse since i last saw her. she asked where she was about fifteen times. i tried my best to keep chipper, but thoughts kept seeping into my head about the way she used to be when i was little. i absolutely worship this woman and to see her in this state makes me very sad. sigh.

3) i was working on a screen for jeremiah and while waiting for the filler to dry i came upstairs and checked his diaryland, because it makes me all nostalgic, and lo and behold, there was a new entry. i devoured it hungrily, hoping some goodness had fallen into his life, but the opposite had occurred. his grandfather passed away. as i read the words, my hand subconciously reached into my pocket and out came my phone. i pressed the send button when i got to his name and he answered. so many thoughts were racing through my head. so many things i wanted to tell him. how i had missed him. how many shite things i'd been through without him. how much i hurt. but i was not selfish. i actually made him laugh a little about 30 minutes into the conversation. before hanging up, 40 minutes into the conversation, i had to be selfish. too much time had passed since i last spoke with him. i needed to hear 4 words from him. when i did not hear those 4 words i made a faux pas and questioned why i hadn't. i am so stupid. i just had to know.
  • Current Music
    the aislers set - clouds will clear