February 2nd, 2002

aquatic, the life

"outta my head, it's glowin'..."

"outta my head; it's growin'...
outta my head; it's glowin'...
outta my head, cos i heard,
something said in a word,
from your voice did i hear;
only choice...is..outta my head."

-aht uh mi hed (shuggie otis)

mmmmmshuggie! this song totally reminds me of a radiohead song and i can't even think of which one it is right now. my head is on overload. lots of new records! i worked at now! today for the first time in over a month. i really missed it. talking to people about music as opposed to talking to people about cats was really really great. i never tire of talking about music and/or movies. today i got to talk about both. even though i ended up staying in tonight, i don't feel like i wasted my saturday like i did the past month (since jeremiah left). it's been one month since i drove him to bwi airport. i haven't felt whole since that day.

i get sad thinking about how when we're together absolutely everything goes swimmingly, but being so far apart, all the insecurities creep in. waiting is something i thought i could do. but this past month has felt like an eternity and the next time i am definitely seeing him is in may when i go out there for his graduation. i told him i want to go out there in mid march [for his bday], but he's broke and he doesn't want me to be the sole purchaser of the ticket. i have a job. i want to see him. i don't mind forking out some dough to see him. esp. since i am finally debt free. i paid off my parents the $305 i owed them for past due bills they paid for me. i paid off my credit card bill ($1300) and my cellphone bill ($50). the only debt i have now is the bling bling ($?) i just ran up on my credit card last night and today. records will be the death of me. however, i can control myself if i know i have something better to spend my money on: seeing him! a plane ticket = one week of work for me = no biggie. gah. i wish i could just up and leave right now. also: i wish i'd gone to see JJ72, but i didn't know anyone who was interested in going and i didn't really need to spend another $15 today anyways. sigh sigh. my heart is ticking down the days until i see him again. my mind sleeps until then.

i used to have a diaryland and this used to be there, but i decided to move all of my entries here.
  • Current Music
    shuggie otis - aht uh mi hed