July 29th, 2001

aquatic, the life

"and do you know what i see when my eyes are closed?"

"o say, can you see...
all the rain coming down
around our bed?...

and do you know what i see
when my eyes are closed?
where we sat all alone
with our dreams.

how could we know
it would be gone so soon?"

-the streets were all i saw (dakota suite)

i'm so sick of other people bringing me down. i really wish there was a button i could press that would make me not care. i didn't come with a button. jude law has a button. a sexy button. mm. i wouldn't mind having a sexy button either. beep.

say you have a stupid crush on someone. say you have had this crush for quite some time. say you've liked that person for ___[insert number of months here] months. say you don't even know what it is about this person makes you attracted to them. just something. then...say a friend of yours who you've just started hanging out with comes up to you at a dance night and says, "hey...i'm getting a ride home with [person you crush on's name]. i think we're gonna hook up. is that cool with you?" because that person knows *just* how much you like the other person.

yea, so that was my friday night.

saturday i started crying in my car after upside down because i felt overwhelmed by everything; in more of the bad than good way. i started thinking again how i don't feel close to anyone right now. there are people i love and i know they love me. but i don't feel like it's more me giving than more them giving. and i guess that's why i've become very careful about how much of my heart i let show these days. i don't want to bare all and get nothing in return. call me selfish. or call me a scenester.right now i am keeping it all inside. and it only comes out in tear form in back alleys.



things looking better. it won't rain so hard tomorrow.

i used to have a diaryland and this used to be there, but i decided to move all of my entries here.
  • Current Music
    dakota suite - the streets were all i saw