such intensity there. the first three songs i had to hold back tears. when the fourth song started i sat down indian style and i rocked back and forth. i think it was the fourth song that was like a variation on 'moonlight sonata'. third/fourth. same difference. it was one huge piece of music to me. a lovely glob of sound. i think it was during the fifth or sixth song that i laid down on the ground. head on backpack. eyes shut. legs bent at the knees. it was so beautiful i couldn't stand up. i could only lay there and breathe in the immense sound of gybe! and as incredible of a night i had, i don't think that i could listen to their music on record. it's something that i just want to experience right there while they are playing. and anything less than that wouldn't be right. so i am going to try to get everything done by tomorrow night so that i can see them at the 9:30 club. i seriously doubt that will happen. then again, i don't really know if they can out-do their show at st. john's in b-more. we shall see. *sigh*
on the boy front: paul = one big question mark. seriously, the boy has to be the most sweet, most funny, most talented, most attractive boys that i have ever met. i enjoy being around him. like i enjoyed being around bradley [before he decided to cast me away 'like moldy tangerines']. he's a spectacular human being, but sometimes he does things that completely drive me crazy [in a bad way]. oh, he does plenty of things that drive me crazy in a good way too, but right now it's bad crazy.
friday night was his band's show at their house [the crayon box]. i really liked his band's sound. i wish i could have understood the vocals more, but the sound was a bit garbled. later, when a few of us were hanging out in paul's room, this one girl put her arm around paul's leg, and i thought i was going to lose it. but i didn't. i watched intently and he moved away, which was good. and later he went to a playground with that same girl and a few others + oscar.
then later, he actually came back to leigh land when we wet to talk in his roommate eric's room. he was feeling down 'cos he didn't think that his band had played a good show. i put my hand on his leg [clothed in grey cords] and he put his hand on top of mine and then linked our fingers together. later, we were in the hall holding hands, and then he dropped my hand and said, "we're just good friends..." and looked into my eyes. his eyes did not say good friends, they said, wait for me, while i figure my life out. and he said that to me about a week back now. that he wanted me to wait for him to clear his mind. but a few days ago he said that there was no guarantee that once he got his life sorted out that we would be together. but then he throws me all these strange signals and i try to pick up on some of them, but they're too slippery to catch.
i used to have a diaryland and this used to be there, but i decided to move all of my entries here.