on friday night i met a guy at panic [80's/90's dance night] cos my stupid friends and his stupid friends set us up to talk. anyways, this boy asked me on a date and i said well we could hang out and we did hang on saturday night. but i was very uncomfortable about the whole thing. heck, he's a nice guy but it seems like he was far too into me. and he knows next to nothing about me. he said that he saw me @ bliss two weeks before and that he had not stopped thinking of me. and to be honest, it really freaked me out. i mean...had it been a 1980's john hughes movie and it was andrew mccarthy making the moves...i would have been all about it. this guy was nice, but he's 31 and he really is from a different time. he wore a tweed sports coat over a shirt. and he drinks beer. i dunno. just not good. and i was thinking maybe i was being too harsh.
while on the way home after dropping him off at his car [and making sure he would *not* try to kiss me] i realised that i had completely forgot his name. so i made myself a bet. if i remembered his name by the time my car hit the driveway, then i'd give him a second chance. and all the way on 395 i thought of other r names and said them out loud. and my mind was blank. i pulled into my driveway and got out of my car and locked the door and walked into my house and locked the deadbolt and then remembered his name. so no second chance, sorry r. he paged me last night and i felt sick. and now i realise that maybe i seemed this way to this boy eythan, who i thought was the bee's knees and i told him how i felt and he was not about it at all, but he really did want to be my friend. but in this case, i feel no drive to be friends with r. oh bother. i hate having a conscience. i don't even know if that is spelled correctly.
np: sammy - s/t
BUY IT. it's fucking great. i just re-discovered it after a pause of about a year.
i used to have a diaryland and this used to be there, but i decided to move all of my entries here.