really. i can safely say if i had only one wish in the world it would be 'make my life a 1980's john hughes movie'. in the end, the jerks get theirs, the geeks all get a girl, the

girls all get a boy. and not just any boy. the magical kiss boy; the one whose eyes light up at any mention of her name. i want to be one of those girls. i want to be swept off my feet.

i want to know that magical kiss boy is out there right now hoping to meet me, his magical kiss girl. i hope he's out there, but i am not sure. i met a boy off the internet on 21 july and we really got along that night and ended up dating a short while. i loved being close to him. and not just during the snog olympics. i loved being able to just close my eyes and know he was there. he made me feel safe. and it was quick. and it was completely strange since he didn't have a *whole* lot in common with me, save a passionate love of music. and it's not something i could categorize. i just knew that deep down i really loved just being with him. and not only in a bradley kind of friend way. i'm *the* coolest girl he's met in ages. and he dumps me a week and 2 hours ago.

too much, too fast. he said something didn't sit right about that. he gave great hugs. man oh man. i never wanted to give that up. i can't help but feel i did something wrong. i think i did something wrong by just going for it. by just feeling comfortable from the get go. just opening up the way i did. by doing what i felt was right.

i got sick the night he dumped me. really really sick. shivers all over. hot. fever. cold. chills. the next day it got progressively worse. i nearly fainted. and i had dizzy spells. i had to sit down on the floor at work for most of the day, i couldn't move much. the next day it was even worse. i couldn't breathe through my nose, coughed up blood in my pleghm, it felt like someone was crushing my skull with their bare hands. and it felt like such a strange coincidence. and i can't do anything. i just have to see if he'll call tomorrow. if he doesn't, then i know he'll call sometime. if he really does think i am the coolest girl he's met in ages, then he's going to call.

i used to have a diaryland and this used to be there, but i decided to move all of my entries here.